March 23, 2011

Here is the link to the article: http://www.seacoastonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080815/ENTERTAIN/808150306&sfad=1

This article discusses on how women will chose tall guys over short guys. I can definitely relate to both sides of the argument.

Before I met my boyfriend, I dated guys who were shorter than me. However I had those moments where I felt weird standing next to my date who was 3 + inches short. I tried to ignore the fact that the guy was shorter than me. I remember telling myself, well he’s nice and good looking…he also graduated from the best law school in this country…blah blah blah. During one of my dates, at the end of the night, this guy invited me over to his house, my body just froze when I entered his apt, I guess I was not attractive to have sex with him…I felt awful that I behaved this way and probably hurt this guy’s feeling but I couldn’t help it.

I definitely don’t want to lie to myself and try to force what is normal in society. I felt the pressure to accept short guys since I’m pretty tall for a gal (5’10). Height is something you shouldn’t factor into dating.

Now I truly believe in following your gut instinct when it comes to choosing your mate in dating. People should accept both types of women. This becomes a problem when a woman is not honest with herself and with the guy she’s with. I used to be wishy-washy when I was single since I didn’t really understand myself and what I wanted from a guy. That’s why guys who are aggressive in pursuing me had a higher chance of going on dates with me as opposed to passive guys. I notice shorter guys tend to appear more confident and aggressive about pursuing me so this might be why some women are with short guys. I mean people have different opinions on what they want from a guy and they weigh on different things so I won’t say which type of guy is better or not.

Took a long break

March 22, 2011

I’m not good at writing consistently hence I don’t post anything for nearly a year. I learned more things about relationship while I didn’t blog. This whole experience has helped me grow more as a person and helped me deal with weird situation more calmly.

I decided to take a new approach on my blogging. I’m going to write a comment on dating-advice type articles moving forward. Since I’m in an open relationship, my perspective might be different than what a mainstream writer will offer. I tend to disagree with a lot of the dating rules out there so it’ll be fun.

Toys for men

March 17, 2010

While I was looking for toys for myself, I found this.
My bf never had experience with this type of toy but after watching the video, I wonder if this toy makes guys feel better than having sex with a real human being. lol.


March 16, 2010

good news!
people sometimes chose to get back to us after we had fun! It was approximately 3 days after we met…it’s like following the traditional dating rule, get back to the person in 3 days. hehehe.
my partner and I received emails from the people whom we had fun over the weekend. both of these people were new to the lifestyle and we sort of introduced them on the fun part 😉
this is a huge progress for us and we are inspired to help more newbies!

Ladies in Lifestyle

March 14, 2010

People who check out swinger parties are not just limited to couples. There are single ladies who attend.

This time, when we went to a party on a stormy last night, I decided to talk to single ladies and get to know them better.

It was great, the ones that have a lot of experience actually hosted their own parties in the past. They seem to not have an online profile on social networking sites as well, which I found it interesting. They usually find people at parties or sometimes on Craig’s list. They enjoy hanging out with couples.

Also I met a girl who attended the party all by herself, she is very brave to come. She found about the party through Craig’s List and just showed up. She is bi and only had a monogamous relationship in the past but she wanted to see what’s out there. The experience that night probably opened up her perspective by meeting men and women who are like-minded and experienced. It was great talking to her.

It was fun and refreshing to get to know single ladies at the party. You just really know little info about the other person yet you are able to talk about sex and relationship so openly.

Valentine’s Day

February 19, 2010

I had a hard time what I wanted for V-day. My bf asked what I wanted on that day but it was difficult for me what exactly I wanted. We already go out through out the year. We travel to places from time to time. We go to really cool swinging parties. We have candle light dinners at home a lot as well. We like to keep things hot and romantic.

So after he asked me this question, I told him I wanted to eat really good chocolate. On Vday we ended up going to this famous chocolatier shop in Soho.  I was really excited to get their famous hot chocolate at the cafe but the line was so busy and the waitress gave the menus to another couple that got seated after us. The place was packed with couples, it sort of lost its uniqueness. I got  so furious and quiet. My bf noticed that I was not happy with the service so we got the chocolate  outside the cafe section and left. Instead we went to a nearby cafe called city girl cafe.  The cafe was awesome there were no Valentine crowd and I didn’t feel too commercial.

I think the moral of the story is that for most couples, Vday is a big day. It seems like people just put an effort into their relationship just once a year. When we really should be putting into it every day. In a way,  I’m glad that there is a day created so people can sort of expect that their special someone will do something romantic on that particular day if they have a sense of decency.

I’m still having difficulty what I want to do on Vday. I prefer to celebrate and do something romantic when there are less people doing it. lol. Hence, I’m going to my first bdsm party tomorrow!

Choosing your mate

February 8, 2010

I don’t want to sound too shallow but I have to admit, it’s really hard to find a couple which the man and the woman are both attractive in general. Many of my lifestyle friends also agree that this is applicable for n this 😉

Yesterday I read this NY Times Article which was published on Saturday how there are less man on campus and how men and women are dealing with this phenomenon on campus.

I was shocked to find out how these men in their early 20s admitting that they don’t have to work hard on getting any action from women. Also how women are desperate to get attention and will make it easy for men to get laid…

Can you imagine what will happen to these young men when they are in their 30s and 40s? They already stopped taking care of themselves. Ugh, this is just really sad. I think it’s so easy to be in shape when you’re young, you will have fast metabolism so you don’t really need to take care too much of yourself but I’ve seen many young men with beer guts…

I really think that many American men really need to change their attitude on their own appearance –maybe we need the women to hold higher standards ;-P

I’ve also noticed with good-looking guys, it’s actually hard for them to get a date sometimes, I wonder why but I’m guessing that women are extra cautious towards handsome men. Good looking = Players? We many need to change our attitude toward men in general are players; why can’t women be players ?

Hopefully we can find more young women to be more confident and develop a good taste. I do think that confident women can bring out the best qualities for men and vice versa.

Anyways, it’s just interesting to observe what goes on the mating scene!

Looking to Improve

February 6, 2010

I started to tell people that I’m writing a blog on my lifestyle adventures.

Not only I would like to share my experiences, I would like to hear others experiences as well as quesitons as well.

I sort of feel like when meeting other couples or single male/female,


January 25, 2010

I’m so into the lifestyle and really want to learn so much on how other people think about the lifestyle. Hear both their successes and failures.

There are so many blogs and websites out there pertaining about lifestyle but many of them are just promoting a product…That’s totally fine that you have an agenda and you want to promote your product but it becomes an issue when you don’t provide any good content –this is the frustrating part 😦

Many of us are in the lifestyle and probably try to meet new people occasionally ranging from daily, weekly, monthly etc… Also many of us in the lifestyle are active people and we’re pretty hip, trendy. We  know what is going on in the world ( also the technology aspect as well…). Swingers can be in a form of couples or singles. I certainly lived like a swinger before I met my BF. I think that this type of lifestyle is getting more acceptable.

There are ups and downs in a swinging relationship but some of us chose this over the traditional one; -)

I’m sure it’s a complicated topic to be discussing but I’d like to see some REAL swingers helping fellow swingers.

If anyone can recommend any REAL sites that offer good content, please let me know!!!

banging spree

January 25, 2010

I love going to experience swingers hosting house parties.  The one I went on Saturday night, the host knows a lot of good people and invite about a dozen couples. This number of people is a good amount and a good way to get to know handful of people well.

The hosted couple were laid back people and I’m very impressed with the way they treated everyone here. There was this one young man who was oblivious drunk and annoyed some people for his stupidity (like trying to recall everyone’s names and not able to remember any). Yet, the host was very nice to this man. I felt like I really need to learn from them.

What I hear from other swingers as well is that swingers tend to be more laid back/ nice people. I guess if you’re willing to share your partner with other people you need that type of quality to do swinging.

The atmosphere was very chill, no-pressure. Some people didn’t do anything. Some of us talked with our partners to see which couples that they wanted to get to know well. Communication is key here so you and your partner can enjoy.

After an hour later, to break the ice the host suggested people to go to the basement for fun games. We played naked twister and special ping pong game. I teamed up with a girl against two guys for the ping-pong, we were losing but others got into the groove and you started to see people getting all comfortable. Then few of us decided to hop in to the hot tub. We talked a bit dirty but after 20 minutes you get light headed (at least for me).  I noticed that some of the people were in bedrooms so my bf and I discussed our plan was.

There were many new couples that we never met and wanted to get to know them better that night. We found out another couple who was interested in us so we decided to approach them. My BF did most of the talk ( I’m bit shy and I need to work on the socializing part…) and we suggested that we should go to one of the rooms. During this process, I saw my best swinging friend with a group of people in the master bedroom. I wanted to check them out real quick but me being a very s*xual person, I joined them instead… Few seconds later, I think my BF was trying to get me out of bed but I was already being busy busy busy getting action. I knew I had to go back to that couple that we planned on playing. Luckily they joined me on the bed.

I seriously don’t think my action would have been okay in other situations but this couple was kind enough not to make it a big deal. We even played again for the second round. I did try to make up for my misbehavior 😛

I’m still sore from this party. lol.